Of Change and Realizations

CHANGE. Big word. With over the first quarter of the year done, a lot of things already changed. Not only with my everyday routine but on how I view life as it is unfolding to me now.

  • Friends. I now understand how true this quote is: “As we grow up, we realize it is less important to have lots of friends, and more important to have real ones.” I used to have a long list of people I consider as friends and sadly when times are rough, that’s when I became aware who among them are the ones I can run to. How do you differentiate a friend from an acquaintance? There are people you call friends with almost half of your conscious life spent with them but really not know you (or not know them either). You are together not because you choose to but because of the circumstance. Lately, given the things life is throwing me, I realized how tiring it is to reach out and be with these people who’s only there when everything’s bright and sunny.
  • Family. Only a few people know what my family is going through right now. They say that this is just an obstacle to strengthen, unite and make us love each other more. A friend once told me that every family goes through real tough (and dark) times, since they did too. I believe and pray things will work out just fine. It may not be anytime soon but with prayers I know it will be.
  • Work. It’s really funny how a lot of things are changing at work now. In one word, it is C-R-A-Z-Y. Among the factors maybe is how the things I’m rooting for NOT to change are changing too : our inner circle of 3 is broken (somehow) to 2 when 1 left; plans (or rumors) of close people leaving; and the inevitable change in priorities. When motivation is lacking and confusion is creeping in, everyday is about waking up and hopelessly trying to get through the day just because you need to.
  • Love. By the end of this month, I can finally say, “Yes, it’s been a year now.” The love, or the phase as I’m defining it, will just be part of history and hopefully it will stay like that. A year ago, I vowed to myself that I will change, but this change has to be for the better. I do a whole lot of stupid things before and I’m hoping that I won’t do the same in the future. Crazy, reckless and all-out martyr. That’s how I can describe myself when I love. Whenever emotions get the better of me, I suddenly do things because I want them (at the moment) and sadly, in the end it gets me nowhere, leaving me feeling worse than before. I endure and accept everything – what the people are saying, thinking or talking behind my back – what I do care is what that person thinks. Unfortunate for me, I always end up in a situation that I don’t want and dream for myself.

Early this month, one close friend gave me a book about change named “Who Moved My Cheese” by Dr. Spencer Johnson. In the book, the cheese is a metaphor of anything you want to have in life – good job, relationship, money, health or peace of mind. Somehow, this opened my eyes how moving with your cheese is important. Nothing in this life is permanent. It’s just a waste to ever let yourself get stuck with something not there or exists anymore. The thing you want and the happiness that comes along with it will eventually change as days go on. Now, you may be enjoying your job, but sooner o later things may happen that may lead you wanting to quit. It is up to you if you will stay and wait for it be the same again, or if you will finally move on and find a new job to feel that sense of happiness again. The same goes with relationships, money, health and peace of mind. There’s no point in getting stuck, really. As I’ve said, the most important thing with change is moving along with it. Change can and will bring you happiness only when you learn to get used with it and move as quickly as it does.

With the changes above and the realizations it brought me, I know I still haven’t perfected that “moving with your cheese” part. Maybe with more effort, positive attitude and the will to change, let’s see how far I’ll go in the coming days. :)

That’s it for now.

<3, Irene

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